Co-Dependent Baby

Co-Dependent Baby (Sung to the tune of You Know What) Come, Sweetheart mine— Don’t snort that line, Put away your crack pipe and your airplane glue; Lay off those pills— Darling, speed kills; I kind of wish you’d ease up on the vodka, too. Though you protest, I know what’s best— When you’re clean and sober you’ll be feeling swell; But when you toke, Drink, or do coke, I love you more than ever though it hurts like hell: Come to me my co-dependent baby, Cuddle up, and don’t despair; Your substance problems, whatsoever they be, Are just the sort of thing to make me care; You know Dear that I could never leave you, And here’s a fact that’s sad but true— Though it seems like suicide I must have you for my bride: I guess I must be co-dependent, too.   Dear, when you jones, And take out loans Just to buy the junk that keeps you acting straight; I know it’s wrong But go along Though I know the stuff will kill you soon or late; I feel a twinge Each time you binge— And it’s not unpleasant if you get my drift; Life will be drab Once you rehab— For every time you’re high it gives my mood a lift: Come to me my co-dependent baby, Cuddle up and shoot some horse; If you join a twelve-step program, maybe That will be what leads to our divorce; For though I’ll vow to care for you in sickness Once you’re healt
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