If you’ve ever wanted to start your own traditional jazz band, but never learned how to play an instrument, then have no fear, my friend! There are far more important things involved than actually playing music. After all, this is show business. I’m here to help. So if you follow the Professor’s guide to starting a traditional jazz band, you too can be a success in the jazz world (but don’t take my bloody gigs).
The first thing you need to do is to choose a catchy trad-jazz band name. This is most important. I recommend using a combination of the following words, in no particular order: Prohibition, Hot, Speakeasy, Jazz, Stompers, Professor, Band, Old Timey, Brooklyn. Here’s an example: THE HOT BROOKLYN SPEAKEASY OLD TIMEY JAZZ STOMPERS. Or how about: THE HOT JAZZ PROHIBITION OLD TIMEY BAND. (But please avoid using the name THE HOT PROFESSOR. I’m saving that for a side project...)
Now that you’ve got a band name, you need to figure out what your band should wear. (Actually, we discussed clothes in a previous column. You can’t remember? Well, it’s not my fault if you weren’t paying attention. That’s on you, buddy.) But here’s an addendum to the previous installment: The lower paying the gig, the better you’ll need to dress. (If you ever see a jazz band in tuxedos, you know they’re playing for gas money and a drink. If you ever see a jazz musician looki
