Static From My Attic

All in all, it’s been a lousy millennium so far. A number of you (some of whom I possibly respect) are poised at your keyboards

I have almost as much respect for billionaires as I do for Joey Chestnut, the guy who wins the hot dog-eating contest at Coney Island

I do not consider baked goods to be oracular. Nonetheless, there was a time when I looked forward to the end of a meal of

Unlike most normal people, I’ve never been a fan of holidays. I regard Christmas and Thanksgiving with particular distaste, since they’re all about overeating and

I reckon being jazz fans and all you won’t have heard of me unless you have twisted the dial down to 650 on a clear

Syncopation appears to me to be basis or the trigger of some sort of reflex, at best, or a nervous disorder at worst. It is

While laying out the current issue I experienced a brief and welcome respite from all the external sources of static that have polluted this column

As I celebrate ten years of publication of The Syncopated Times, I think I now may safely confess something that many of you have known

The day before Thanksgiving my wife and I went to the local arts center for a showing of the best movie I am likely to

The last ever US penny was minted on November 12, 2025, and my last ever expressible thought occurred at approximately the same time. I can’t

In the midst of the darkening gloom that attends the season, I’ve had the pleasure of attending (or at least listening in on) some marvelous

For some inexplicable reason, a few readers have expressed that they miss my words in this space. I frankly needed a break from myself because

We owe a vast debt of gratitude to all the readers and supporters of The Syncopated Times who have kept us in print this year.

This past month, I made noises in a fundraising letter that I was planning to shut up for a month or two. “I am likely

As if Anno Domini 2025 were not fraught enough with rumors of war and the vain, blustering hubris that ensures a constant level of High

I am heartened that the response to last month’s Static column, “Tearing Apart the Arts,” was overwhelmingly positive. I was expecting a flood tide of

If you’re anything like me, you had “that friend” as a child. Not really a friend, but someone you knew at school or from the

Since TST co-editor, webmaster, and in-house reviewer Joe Bebco generally has a lot to say (and I generally don’t) I’m ceding the Static space to

Aside from the weather and just about everything else, it’s been a good month. This is the sort of old-fashioned winter we had when I

Yes, I admit it. It’s a shorter issue this month. I could just be flippant and say “It’s a short month.” Or I could suggest

I don’t mean to get too serious in this column, but I want to begin by saying how grateful I am to readers who have

Now that The Syncopated Times has achieved nonprofit status and stands on the verge of its tenth year of publication, the excitement in this office

Would you rather be a jellyfish or a cloud? It has to be one or the other. If you opt out of the choice or

Ever since a long-time reader told me my column was “depressing,” I’m hesitant to be sincere about anything at all. Maybe somebody else’s static would