Static From My Attic

Would you rather be a jellyfish or a cloud? It has to be one or the other. If you opt out of the choice or

Ever since a long-time reader told me my column was “depressing,” I’m hesitant to be sincere about anything at all. Maybe somebody else’s static would

The present certainly has its discontents. As my veneer of magnanimity and tolerance wears molecule-thin, even I must concede that it is too mean, ugly,

There are many (myself included) who regard this paper and music in general as a haven of peace and conviviality in a world that seems

It was distinctly embarrassing (but not altogether surprising) for me to discover the editorial glitches in the June 2024 issue of The Syncopated Times. I’d

As I write this, it is five days since my second eye surgery. In the plus column, this is the first time in nearly fifty

In the March issue of The Syncopated Times I devoted a portion of this space to discussing the immediate delight I experienced on installing a

Of all that which I consider worthy, perhaps the most remarkable is when someone does exactly what they promise they’re going to do. I weep

This week I felt it entirely necessary to buy myself a huge computer monitor—though not the largest one that was available. As my eyesight sinks

This is my Eighth Anniversary Issue of The Syncopated Times, and I suppose I should be eating cake or something. I find myself preoccupied with

It’s a new year, and I am required by law to be optimistic. Never mind that each previous year has, in its own way, been

It’s never not a chaotic month. I spent much of November arranging to have this paper mailed from a new post office. The Syracuse newspaper

As happens every year in this latitude, Autumn is a time of less sunlight and more shadow, and a chilliness that reminds us to bring

I enjoyed an unexpected vacation during the month of August—or I should say I enjoyed those aspects of it that were enjoyable. This brief sabbatical

Even though the Long Intermission is finally over (or we’ve just decided to go on with our lives after three years of hiding behind masks

As I write this on the longest day of the year, I feel like I’ve just lived through the longest week of the year. We’re

As I wrote the thumbnail bio of Guy Lombardo for the Jazz Birthday of the Month today, I had vague feelings of déjà vu. This

We often hear stories of various wunderkinder who, as soon as their pudgy toddler hands become articulated enough to thump keys on a keyboard, play

I have always found it difficult to ask for assistance, even when I have clearly needed it. This reluctance to accept help may be an

If I’ve learned anything in the almost sixty-one years I’ve been on this planet—and it’s doubtful I have—it’s that I’m destined to be the guy

Artificial stupidity will never replace the real thing. This motto, of which I should commission an embroidered sampler, is brought home to me on a

In the interval between publishing the previous issue and the current one, a little something called ChatGPT has come into being. It bids fair to

There are months (and this is one of them) when I feel I am at best a poor servant of Jazz. I’m like one of

In this dim and chilly season, as snowbirds migrate south and leaves fall from the trees, I turn from my preoccupation with my own foibles