Static From My Attic

A Sidelong Glance at 2025

Now that The Syncopated Times has achieved nonprofit status and stands on the verge of its tenth year of publication, the excitement in this office

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Spreading the Cheer too Thin

Ever since a long-time reader told me my column was “depressing,” I’m hesitant to be sincere about anything at all. Maybe somebody else’s static would

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‘Turn Back the Clock!’

The present certainly has its discontents. As my veneer of magnanimity and tolerance wears molecule-thin, even I must concede that it is too mean, ugly,

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Do You Want Fries With That?

It was distinctly embarrassing (but not altogether surprising) for me to discover the editorial glitches in the June 2024 issue of The Syncopated Times. I’d

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Irving Berlin at the piano, circa 1906.

Impartial Eclipse

As I write this, it is five days since my second eye surgery. In the plus column, this is the first time in nearly fifty

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The Light That Flailed

In the March issue of The Syncopated Times I devoted a portion of this space to discussing the immediate delight I experienced on installing a

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This Is All on Me

This is my Eighth Anniversary Issue of The Syncopated Times, and I suppose I should be eating cake or something. I find myself preoccupied with

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Truce or Consequences

It’s never not a chaotic month. I spent much of November arranging to have this paper mailed from a new post office. The Syracuse newspaper

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Leg Up

I enjoyed an unexpected vacation during the month of August—or I should say I enjoyed those aspects of it that were enjoyable. This brief sabbatical

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Emerging from the Woodshed

We often hear stories of various wunderkinder who, as soon as their pudgy toddler hands become articulated enough to thump keys on a keyboard, play

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How Much Do You Care?

If I’ve learned anything in the almost sixty-one years I’ve been on this planet—and it’s doubtful I have—it’s that I’m destined to be the guy

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Fanfare for the Maladroit

Artificial stupidity will never replace the real thing. This motto, of which I should commission an embroidered sampler, is brought home to me on a

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I am not a Robot 🤖

In the interval between publishing the previous issue and the current one, a little something called ChatGPT has come into being. It bids fair to

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