I’m sure you’ve all met him before...there’s one at every jazz festival. You know...that guy. That guy who corners you at the bar after the performance, to critique the band you’ve both just heard. Of course, this critique isn’t really about the music...it’s to let you know how much he knows about jazz.
And these guys are often hard to avoid—just a little eye contact is all the invitation they need to approach and divulge to you (the unsuspecting audient) the full history of jazz. You didn’t ask for it, but you’re gonna get it anyway. Worst part is, more often than not, that guy has little idea what he’s taking about.
But have no fear: I’ve come up with a simple defense strategy for your next run-in with one of these self-proclaimed jazz intellectuals. You’ve got to outjazz him. Your goal is to intimidate, and eventually repel, by making it seem you know more about jazz than he does.
But Professor, I hear you say...I don’t know enough about jazz to pull it off! Don’t worry, faithful reader. People with no idea about jazz make whole careers talking about it. (They’re called critics.) And if critics can invent pseudo-intellectual dribble about something they don’t really understand, then so can you!
Here’s your defense strategy: firstly you need to invent a fake jazz legend, and then a fake album. For the name of your jazz legend; use a comb
