I’m Sorry, I Can’t Apologize

This past month, I made noises in a fundraising letter that I was planning to shut up for a month or two. “I am likely at this point to cede my monthly column because I cannot focus on music. That should come as a relief to those of you who disagree with my perspective. And I don’t expect you to give money to someone whose opinions are in stark philosophical contrast to your own. Fair enough.” My statement was occasioned by a message from another dissatisfied customer:

Dear Mr. Senior,

As you know, jazz, and in particular early or Trad Jazz, is often a music of joy and exuberance. It’s an uplifting experience to hear it, let alone to play it or dance to it. Even to read about it! Which is all the more reason I write to you to express my extreme disappointment in reading about your expressions of extreme disapproval of a significant number of Americans whose political opinions evidently are not the same as yours.

How disappointing!

I subscribed a year ago and just recently re-upped. I did so to support your publication that in turn supports this art form.

I did not sign up for political opinions, yours or anyone else’s—no matter what those opinions might be. Your follow up column indicated you expected a lot of pushback, presumably on account of the particular opinions to which you gave vent. My disappointment in your actions is absolutely apolitical. Your remarks are uncalled for in a publication that otherwise has absolutely nothing to do with politics and everything to do with jazz and the joy it can promote.

You owe your subscribers an apology, in my opinion, for going so far off the musical rails. Perhaps you don’t agree. Fine, it’s your publication—for which apparently you would seek publicly funded grants. That would likely include funds ponied up by some of those with whom you apparently vehemently disagree. I’ll imagine you’ll withhold your political opinions from said applications. Or not. Your choice.

If you think I’m off base here, do us both a favor. Cancel my subscription and refund my money, less whatever the July issue costs. If, on the other hand, you appreciate my opinion in expressing my disappointment, please consider publishing an apolitical apology to your readership in the same space allocated in June and July.

I sent the guy his forty bucks back without apology. And the fact is, I will never apologize to my readers or to anyone else for telling the truth.

I can’t be constrained to walk back heartfelt opinions that would cause me physical pain to hold in. And I loathe politics. I would much rather not talk about politics in my paper. I just hate whatever it is we’re all living with more.

This isn’t about partisan politics (aka team sports). It’s about all of us who retain a shred of decency or sanity being in opposition to the steamroller of cruelty, bluster, and ignorance that is rolling over our country right now.

My disappointed correspondent should take a field trip to CECOT or Alligator Alcatraz to understand why the current administration causes my stomach to churn. He should hang out with people just cut off Medicaid and SNAP and offer them his well-heeled condolences. He should visit foreign lands where starving people wait at the docks for promised surplus food that we snatched back and destroyed when we gutted USAID.

And if you’re “apolitical,” retreating into jazzy denial to escape the chaotic present, consider that music itself is at risk. Czech clarinetist Jára Škuta posted this via the International Clarinet Association group on Facebook on July 5:

Hi everyone! My whole July unexpectedly opened up—if you’re in a sudden need of clarinetist for either performance or education project, please let me know!

I’m now free for the whole July.

This was in plans for months but Detroit airport immigration office detained me. For hours I was in their custody—phone and all devices confiscated, very rude bullying interrogation, threatening me with jail time. After couple hours of this they ultimately ordered to send me back home to Prague.

I had proper documents for the projects I was invited to—I was supposed to visit multiple Czech communities in Nebraska and Ohio with my friends there and perform chamber recitals in their community spaces and churches. This was planned as like sharing Czech classical music with Czech communities in the US.

The immigration office didn’t believe me and they were ready to be done with me from the start.

It was devastating experience, but I hope I could come to the US in the future when the country administration changes.

This affects you, too. Therefore, not only won’t I apologize, I can’t possibly shut up. I find myself in the unique position of operating an independent media platform in an age when ABC paid $15 million and CBS paid $16 million settlements to the President in nuisance lawsuits they could have won on First Amendment grounds. CBS not only caved, but fired Stephen Colbert and cancelled The Late Show so that any possibility of further satirical commentary is obviated. But sue me? I run a lemonade stand here. Squeeze me, and you’re squeezing lemons. (Hence, no further refunds. If you’re still with me, you know what you’re getting by now.)

Many thanks for your patience with my ineradicable foibles, and for your extraordinary generosity if you still support me in spite of them.