Probation (Poem)

I no longer write poetry Because I was caught satirizing under the influence And my poetic license was revoked. This was a year ago, and now I have to be very careful About forming even the semblance of a metaphor. The author authorities are very harsh on repeat offenders. I hope that this reads like an instruction manual For some large piece of earth-moving equipment Or perhaps some dry thesis as to how socioeconomic factors Relate to the Gross National Product. I am trying my damnedest to keep my iambic feet on the ground Since trudging is the only mode of transportation I am permitted. People meet me in the supermarket, and say, “Didn't you used to be a poet?” I merely smile at them, and say that it's late And that I have to buy prunes. They think that I am being profound.