The Professor in Bed

Okay folks, let’s talk about sex. We may as well do so...it’s on our minds all the time anyway (just ask Freud). Most of us have done it. Even our parents have done it at least once (yuk). And if you think about it, sex is like playing jazz: it’s okay by yourself, but it’s more fun with at least four other people. And an appreciative audience. So, let’s get to the point here: I know that each and every one of you, at some point, has looked up at the stage at the musicians in the throes of their performing ecstasy and wondered: “Hmm...I wonder what they’re like in bed?” There’s no denying it—jazz is a sensual, sexy, passionate form of expression (I’d better stop there, I’m turning myself on). No need to be embarrassed folks...we don’t mind that you think these things about us. In fact, here’s a little trade secret: if we’re nervous while performing, we will look out at you guys and picture you all naked (except when we play retirement homes). So, purely for the interest of research, and for the benefit of the Syncopated Times subscriber, I’ve taken it upon myself to find out first hand what jazz musicians are like in bed, so you no longer have to wonder. I’ve been “hard at it” over the last six months, dedicating myself to this overwhelming horizontal undertaking, so I can give you the dirty details, without you having to do all the dirty wor