IN THE AI GARDEN
(Apologies to C. Austin Miles)
I come to the chapel alone
In my search for sweet consolation;
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,
Is an AI generation;
And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me His battery’s low;
And it seems the Lamb is a hologram
(Not that one would ever know).
He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is beset by digital ringing;
But if I upgrade my account to Paid
His circuits will be singing;
And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me he must reboot;
And He’ll pixelate as we stand and wait,
His sound is set to Mute.
I stay in the chapel with Him
Though His online connection is failing;
And He bids me go, since his bars are low,
It’s time that I was bailing;
And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me Updates are nigh;
And the software patch is a perfect match
For the Son of God’s AI
(The Computer in the Sky).
HELLO, ICE
(Original Theme of A Prairie Home Invasion)
(with apologies to Hank Snow and Garrison Keillor)
Well look who’s coming to my town
With masks of black and shirts of brown—
Hello ICE, hello ICE;
Why in the world were you sent down here
With paramilitary gear?
Hello ICE, hello ICE.
Barge right in, invade our home
Sent by Trump and Kristi Noem—
Hello ICE, hello ICE;
Minnesota welcomes you
Feel fre
